Children’s social media usage is again in the spotlight, with the SA government announcing a proposal to ban children under 14 from accessing sites such as TikTok, Instagram and Facebook and requiring those aged 14 and 15 to have parental consent to use the apps.
But with two-thirds of primary-school-aged children and most teenagers owning their own mobile-based screen devices, is banning or restricting your child’s access to social media the answer — and is it a workable solution?
‘The genie is out of the bottle’
Recent research from the University of Sydney reveals Australians over the age of 14 spend an average of six hours a week on social media, and according to the eSafety Commissioner’s Digital Lives of Aussie Kids report, 12–13-year-olds use an average of 3.1 social media services.
Meanjin/Brisbane-based parenting and positive psychology expert Justin Coulson says “ultimately, the social media genie is out of the bottle, and we’re not getting the three wishes we hoped for”.
“The great challenge that we have as parents is: how do we stuff the toothpaste back into the tube? And I just don’t believe that it can be done,” Dr Coulson says.
“I don’t think we can make any strong arguments that [social media] has been a net positive for not just our children and youth, but for our society and for our community.”
As a parent of six, including two daughters currently in their teens, Dr Coulson says ideally, he would like them “to be on social media less and use their screens less”.
But the reality, he adds, is “they’ll be isolated from their friends, they’ll be isolated from activities that are being planned, and as much as it would be nice for their friends to send them a quick text … it’s probably not going to happen because they all communicate on their various social platforms”.
Setting boundaries requires trust
Some parents have opted to impose their own age restrictions on their children’s social media use, including Jemma Guthrie and her partner Scott Carsdale, who recently shared how they kept their daughter off social media until she turned 15.
Ms Guthrie says restricting her daughter’s social media access “wasn’t a hard decision” and “came naturally based on a shared belief [with her partner] that offline life is better for children”.
“I think it’s hard to do if you haven’t already established a culture of limit-setting in your own household,” she says.
Dr Coulson says in order to establish boundaries and set limits “there’s got to be a foundation of trust”.
“My definition of trust is really simple; it’s believing the other person is going to act in your best interests.
“So if you say ‘no social media until 16 or 18’ and [your children] don’t believe that that’s in their best interest, they don’t believe you’re going to act in their best interests, then no matter what you do, you’re going to be diminishing yourself in their eyes and reducing your influence.”
